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    September 21

    开始懂了

     
    不知不觉间秋风秋雨又一年过去了。又一位朋友离开了工作的地方,临走的时候留给我一句‘这里没人情味’... 面对着这个看起来不谙人事的姑娘,我心里说了一句“终于开始懂了”。
     
    午夜的出租车上听到Stef的这首歌,听着心里很难过,那种很无措的难过。(写到这里,有一份莫名的冲动以致无法再写下去...) 想到了差一分的成绩单、想到了被所有人嘲笑时的尴尬、想到了她毅然决然耍了我后转身离开、想到了去年此时股市从2500开始狂泄,几十万变成十万不到、想到了暴风雪夜去参加补习班,诺大的教室连老师一起只有3个人......
     
    我不知道这些片段和日记主题有什么关系,但它就是涌出来了,我拼命抵挡这种情绪。‘人情味’,多么幼稚的词汇,我从来没见过它,也不知道如何寻找它。老天早就把我的梦摇醒了,宣布幸福不会来了,不由我答应或不答应。
     
    我敏感、警觉,就象刺猬一样,小心翼翼的观察着周围的世界。也曾试着去寻找‘人情味’,往往最后伤的却更深,更领会了世人的冷漠。我们无需伪善的对待自己,以为别人不曾有的‘人情味’能够找到。
     
    总会开始懂了,照顾好自己,明天还是自己的。
     

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    小圆子wrote:
    执着于过去,往往会忽略了周围美好的风景。快乐活在当下,尽心就是完美。
    Oct. 5

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